Tornabenes, the band played to me, sitting beside the sun

I went to an ice hockey game tonight.

I played in a men's hockey league for eight years in the Bay Area. One of our teammates, Vince, was an emergency room doctor. John and I went over to Vince's house every Christmas to spend the day with their five kids. Well, tonight his youngest, Michael, was playing a college game here in Seattle -- University of Oregon vs University of Washington. His mom, Beth, and sister Felicia -- 8 years old when I first met her and now a doctor herself -- had flown in to watch.

I felt like I was in one of those surreal movies -- like that LA movie, where the road signs talk to Steve Martin. There were all these little vignettes that spoke to me.

It has been 20 years since that hockey league started. Four of our teammates still play on the Warriors, including Vince. The Tornabene kids have flowered and flourished.

Catherine got way into computers, then into law school, and now has a baby
Ann's a dentist
Felicia's a doctor, doing her residency in family practice
Stephen's in med school, headed toward pediatric surgery
Michael's just graduating as an architect, headed toward contractor's license
All except Ann and Michael are married

I felt incredibly cold, lonely, and unaccomplished. "I believe in graduate school," said Beth happily. "I can get anyone into grad school." "Can you get me into grad school?" I asked. "Yep," she said. "I've gotten so many people in, you would not believe it." I felt like I was sitting beside the sun.

The UW band had turned out in force. Each section did their own wild choreography. It was a stunning outpouring of energy. Again, though in a very different way, I felt I like I was sitting beside the sun.

When the game was over, the band played three final victorious numbers. Their last one was one which swirled around and through the audience. Since I was the only person still in the stands -- I had stayed to listen to them -- the conductor led them over and they did the entire performance of that song for me. Around me. Blasting me. It was INCREDIBLE. I screamed at three different points. I could not get enough. Or rather, I was finally for once getting enough. This amount of blazing radiance, of confidence & performance, is all mine. A 50-megaton joy.

Like the billboards in that movie spoke to Steve Martin, the entire UW band spoke to me, encircling me, shaking my whole body with sound.

What is god saying to me? I thought. It's so positive.